The Life of Mary Sue
by Doncamatic
Summary: OHMAIGOD SO SUPA KAWAIIiii DESUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!1


_**Inspired by Royalty Blue.  
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><p><em>The Day in the life of Mary-Sue (Basically her whole life, but okay)<br>_

Mary-Sue looked in the mirror at her long shiny platinum-white-diamond-sparkling blonde hair with neon pink streaks, whipping it back and forth like Willow Smith. Her amazingly and strangely rainbow coloured eyes glinted in the morning sunlight. Mary-Sue walked over to her bright fuchsia walk-in wardrobe and took out a dress which complemented her perfectly toned legs. Then Mary-Sue caught sight of a photograph of her mother who died when she was very young, of a rare disease called Shamonglingmareshu. If that isn't depressing enough, her father abused her until she finally left her home at the tender age of seven.

When Mary-Sue turned twelve, she enrolled in a middle school and was placed into top-set Maths, English and Science (and Art, because she was so amazing enough to recreate the Mona Lisa, lol). Even her grades where higher than a Seniors'. Aged fifteen, she made a world record of holding her breath underwater for like, an hour. The day after, she found out that she was part _MERMAID! _She even helped Free Willy the whale from whale hunters and he let her ride on his back and said,

"You're the best gurl in dah wuuuuuurld, Mareh-Suuuuuuue!" Free Willy cried with joy, even though he was a whale and you can't really cry under water so...

Um, yeah.

So, Mary-Sue was just going about her business, like she does every day, when suddenly an extremely hot man (six-pack included) appeared from nowhere and instantly fell in love with her! Because obviously it's a trait that every perfect girl like Mary-Sue should have! The extremely hot man whisked her from her feet and snogged her face off, and her make up didn't smudge at all because she is so perfect and it was a gift given to her by a magical fairy named Behilen.

After that fairly eventful morning , the extremely hot man proposed to Mary-Sue but she didn't accept his offer. When the magical fairy Behilen heard the news, she turned Mary-Sue into a half vampire as a gift because Behilen the magical fairy is a feminist. True story. So the extremely hot man ran away screaming because he wanted Mary-Sue so much more than gold. Well, technically she was more valuable than gold, anyhow.

Mary-Sue attended Hogwarts when she was sweet sixteen, even though she only had two years left of school until she would leave and get a job. But that didn't stop her from being a kick ass fighter and wand slinger. Oh yes my friend, Mary-Sue was an expert at karate, kung fu, ninja, tofu, caramelldansen and many more. After she had successfully managed to get into Hogwarts (cos shes so perfect), she fell in love with Ron Weasley, but two timed with him for the gosh darn gorgeous DRACO MALFOY.

_*Insert dramatic music here*_

Anyway, Mary-Sue left Hogwarts when she found out that Ron frenched Hermione in le chamber of secrets. She then payed Fenrir Greyback to kill Hermione, but he got confused and killed Lavender Brown instead.

No one liked her anyway.

By the time Mary-Sue turned eighteen, Behilen told her the story of how her father died of natural causes, not long after she left Hogwarts, aged 238. Mary-Sue attended his funeral and threw flowers over his coffin, before lifting it up with her AMAZING strength and chucked it into the ocean. She ended the funeral with a special song called 'Die Motherfucker Die'.

The people who watched her sing, found it amazing and angelic. It wasn't until she was nineteen she grew famous. EVEN MOAR FAMOUS THAN THE BEATLES, FRANK SINATRA, YOUR MUM, RONALD MCDONALD, DOLLY PARTON, PETER PAN, NARUTO, LADY GAGA AND TROLLFACE!

Sadly, after a short eventful life, Mary-Sue died aged twenty one after being owned by the Mary-Sue Patrol. Her funeral was held in Japan, where she was born. And her coffin was lowered into a lake full of pink waterlilies, which is now used as a home for little fishies. Vocaloid visited her watery grave and sang a few songs for in memory of her braveness and awesomeness.

_The End._

_...  
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_Or is it?  
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><p><strong><em>AN: OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD OH MAN WHY DID I WRITE THIS, LOL! WELL TO BE HONEST I WAS BORED DURING SCHOOL ONE DAY SO I WROTE SOME OF IT, AND I FINISHED IT JUST NOW. OH GOD I HOPE THIS DOESNT OFFEND PPL LMAOOOOOOOOOO. I WASN'T RLY SURE OF WAT CATEGORY TO PUT IT IN!1  
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**_Ok bye_**


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